Jessi’s Advice Column

Playful • Honest • Flirty • Anonymous

Dear Jessi,

I’ve been with my partner for a few years and I’m nervous about telling them what I really want in bed. I don’t want to hurt their feelings or sound ungrateful, but I wish we could talk more openly about intimacy. Every time I try to bring it up, I freeze.

How do I ask for what I want without making things awkward or creating tension between us?

– Anonymous

Sweet Anonymous,

First, take a breath. Wanting better, deeper intimacy is not complaining — it’s caring. You’re not trying to “fix” your partner; you’re trying to invite them into something even closer and more delicious with you.

Start the conversation when you’re both relaxed and clothed, not in the middle of the action. Try: “I love being close to you, and I’ve been thinking about some things that would make it feel even better. Can I share them with you?” That little phrase turns a scary talk into an invitation.

Focus on what you enjoy: “I really love it when you…” or “It would turn me on so much if…”. You’re painting a sexy roadmap, not handing them a performance review. And if words feel hard, write it down and say, “I wrote a few things because I get shy saying them out loud. Can I read them to you?”

The right partner will want to know what lights you up. Give them the chance to love you better by actually telling them how.

Until we chat, naked hugs and kisses,
Jessi ❤️